Childcare/Working Woes

I’ve been working since my son was just 6 weeks old. 6 weeks?! I had to put him in daycare, because unfortunately we can’t afford for me to stay home.

Daycare didn’t work out so well, so after 8 months, we got a nanny. She’s been there a couple of weeks, and today I put in a nanny cam. Ugh, wow.

So far today she’s left him to cry in his crib for an hour. She came in a couple times just to pick him up and lay him back down. I just want to scream “HE DOESN’T WANT TO NAP!!!” Maybe the camera was a bad idea, but I’m heart broken seeing him cry for so long.

The camera died (iPad, not an actual camcorder) shortly after that.

Im sick to my stomach over what I saw. Am I overreacting? Should I tell her we have a camera? Maybe she’s not as upset over his cries because he’s not her baby. Maybe she is one of those “cry it out” subscribers. Well I’m not and I wish we were on the same page.

I recently took a personality test at work and turns out I’m not ok with conflict, so I really don’t know how to go about dealing with this.

I just want to be a stay at home mom. On my lunch breaks I go to the park some days and see moms there with their kids. I wish so badly that were me. 😦

Any advice or encouragement is appreciated. TGIF at least!