New Year, Unglue Year

So my son just turned 2 (!!), and he is active as ever. He’s constantly running around, and since his birthday is 2 weeks after Christmas, he has more than enough things to play with!

He has also started asking mama and daddy to play with him. “Come on mama!” “Come on daddy!” “Play football?” It’s so sweet. 

I love playing with him and having him show me new things. He has also started pretend play, where he’ll pretend to make food or have his stuffed animals do things like eat and put puzzles together. The sweetest. 

One thing I have noticed, however, is how hard parenting has gotten. It’s always been hard! But in this age of distraction, it’s so easy to just plop your kid down with a movie and zone out while you scroll through Facebook so you can get a break. Sitting with your child, engaging with him, playing with him, watching him…that’s what’s hard. 

Sadly, I’ve noticed how often I grab my phone when my son doesn’t need me for something. But you know what else I’ve realized? He always needs me! Today, for example, he was giving his stuffed puppy a drink from our dog’s bowl and he looked at me so proud and happy! If I were on my phone I would have missed that small glance. 
My son has even started to take my (and my husband’s) phone from my hands and set it on the table when he wants to play. This has woken me up even more. His generation will have to constantly fight for attention because everyone is so consumed with technology and “FOMO.” 

As the new year begins, I am going to make a better effort to be present at home and out with my family. I am guilty of checking social media or browsing the web while at the dinner table or when we’re all together in the living room. This needs to stop! 

I have been setting my phone down on the table when I get home, and I will admit that not picking it up is difficult! My husband might ask me something that makes me want to look online, but instead of looking it up right then, I make a note to look it up later so that I can chase my son around the house or help him build a tower with blocks. Instead of checking Instagram or Facebook or putting a YouTube video on for my bored toddler when we’re out to dinner, I interact with my husband or draw pictures with my son. 

Out to dinner at Chilis. Yay chips and salsa!

I’ve realized how sad it is that people, myself included, are so addicted to their phones. I have started caring less about what people I’m barely friends with anymore are doing and focus more on the ones I love the most who are right in front of me. I hope I can keep it up! My family is definitely more important. 

Wanting More

WARNING: This may be a full post of complaining that has nothing to do with motherhood.

Too often I find myself thinking “why can’t my life be like that?” The ‘that’ being anything from a person/celebrity to a certain job to a specific lifestyle. I think I’m just bored, and that boredom isn’t that my life is boring, but my career. Seeing as I spend most of my time at work, thus most of my life at work, it sort of does mean my life is boring, but I hate to say that because I have a toddler who keeps me more than entertained and a husband who I have fun with. I just wish we did more. We don’t travel because we don’t have the money. We don’t go out places much anymore because of our son/we only have one babysitter. The only time we really take trips are when we need to go see our family/friends’ life events. We never go anywhere just to go. JUST FOR FUN.

Don’t get me wrong. We have fun. We laugh a lot. We play. We do see friends about every other weekend (usually our neighbors so we can bring our son/because our baby monitor extends to their house), and we have drinks and play games. It’s just why can’t there be more? More to life than a job you don’t really like but are obligated to go to so you can pay the bills. More than the nightly routine of cooking dinner, bathing the kids, and going to bed. More than weekends filled with errands and catching up on things you don’t have time for during the week.

I think what got me thinking this way is when my cousin posted on facebook “what would be the first thing you would do if TIME and MONEY weren’t an issue?” and that’s just it. Time and money are an issue. They’re THE issue. We don’t go places because we can’t afford it, financially and through time off of work. We don’t go out because we don’t have time because our son needs to go to bed by 7:30. We don’t fix all the things that need fixing because we don’t have the money just yet. I stopped watching HGTV not because I got sick of watching it, but because it depressed me seeing beautiful home makeovers that I will never be able to afford.

So what can change all of this? I’m not sure. I keep hoping I’ll have an epiphany and figure out exactly what I love doing that I can make my living with enough money to do everything I want to do, with enough time to actually do it. That would be my ultimate dream (if I can never be a stay-at-home mom). That or win the lottery. Until then, I guess this is it.

I know that we have a child and he’s doing all this stuff and learning new things and we get to have birthday parties and play and do all these fun activities, but there will be a limit to that fun. I want our child(ren?) to have awesome memories and I want to be able to take them places so they aren’t left wondering “I wonder what that place is like?” I want to buy them a swing set and bikes and gadgets and not worry about the cost. I want to have more than one child! But right now daycare alone would be too much.

Maybe I want too much. I have everything I NEED. I have a roof over my head. A job that lets me pay for things. I have a car. I have food to eat. I just get sick of the monotony of it all. I want less worry. I want excitement. I want a life that other people want.

Someday. I think you get my point.
Life is what you make it though, right? If you can afford it…

I think I’m getting my period. Disregard everything I just said and go about your more optimistic business.

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Oh, The Places You’ll Go! A 1st Birthday Celebration

I’m not ready to put into words the enormity of this past year, so for now I’ll just tell you all about baby boy’s 1st birthday celebration!

His official birthday isn’t until Thursday, but we had the party this past Saturday. It was a Dr Seuss’ “Oh, The Places You’ll Go!” theme, and my first attempt at planning a child’s party. I think it went pretty well!

My sister helped set up the decorations (streamers) and I made my own Truffula trees using wrapping paper rolls, spray paint, colored duct tape, and paper poofs. We had balloons and even one big “hot air balloon!” complete with cloudy sky backdrop.

Here are some shots from the day:

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Check out that pasta! I was so thrilled when I found it at World Market. It’s rainbow colored farfalle! Isn’t it cute?! We also had a rainbow of fruit and some cute pinwheel sandwiches (these 2 were catered). I also made avocado corn salsa (recipe here), not pictured, with purple, green, and yellow corn chips that I also found at World Market.

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Of course there were sweets too! Themed cupcakes from The Cupcake Shoppe. There were custom m&ms with our sons name and “Happy 1st Birthday!” printed on them. These were paired with sprigs of cotton candy as the favors.

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Here are the trees and the dessert table, and of course the hot air balloon! I just love the giant balloon! Maxwell loved it too, and I’m pretty sure he liked it more than any of his presents! Shhh

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Finally, the cake smash! He didn’t go after it quite as hard as I thought he would, but he definitely made a mess and LOVED IT!! He got his very own giant cupcake with the boy from the book on it, and it was his first dose of pure sugar. He proceeded to go absolutely nuts with his friends/all of his new toys for the rest of the evening and slept GREAT! Almost 12 hours straight (that’s never happened)! Maybe we need to have a party every day…

All in all, I’d say it was a great party. My sister took the amazing photos featured above. The only thing is that now I feel like I’ll have to continue to raise the bar for every party still to come! And what about if there’s a baby #2!? Good grief. Let me stop getting ahead of myself.

I know he won’t remember this party at all, but he will only turn 1 once! Big celebrations are necessary! Plus, the pictures are memories captured in time 😉

Party planning is pretty fun, isn’t it?! I like being able to unleash my inner child! Did you throw a big party for your little ones big day? What are some creative things you’ve seen/done?

Yes. I’m Exhausted.

My son is now 4 months old. Translation, I have not gotten a full night’s sleep in 4 months. There have been nights where I have gotten 6 straight hours, and those mornings I feel like a new woman! Most nights, however, I’m lucky to get 4 straight hours before he is up wanting to nurse.

I’ve asked my other mom friends about this, and some are in the same boat as me, and others tell me to just let him “cry it out,” it worked for them! To me, that’s just mean. The only way a baby knows how to tell you something is wrong is by crying, thus when they cry at night, something is wrong! As a mom, it is our job to make everything right again, so I just can’t imagine letting my son cry without me coming to his rescue. Some may say I am spoiling him; that by me coming to him every time he cries is making him think that he can get whatever he wants if he makes a little noise; and if we keep up with this routine he will never learn to sleep through the night.

Well you know what I say? He’s a baby. He won’t be a baby for very long, and in ten years when he is running away from my kisses and sleeping over at a friends house for the first time, I will wish he was this little again so he would spend the night snuggling with me instead. I will gladly give up a few hours of sleep to make my child stop crying, to let him know that his mom will always be there for him. To me, if I let him cry and he eventually does stop and falls asleep, that might be great for me, but not my baby. Instead, he goes to sleep thinking his mom no longer cares if he cries. He thinks being uncomfortable and hungry is how he’s supposed to feel. He has simply given up.

Everyone always says “Just wait until he’s a teenager. He won’t love you anymore!” and “Enjoy it while it lasts.” So that is what I am going to do. Take in every baby moment, every cry, every smile, every laugh, and always know that I will love him as hard as I can for as long as I possibly can before he grows up and doesn’t need me to rescue him anymore. I know he will always need me, but not like he does now. He won’t always need me to rock him back to sleep, to be his only source of food, to pick him up when he is uncomfortable, to change him when he’s wet, to be present so he can feel better just knowing I’m around.

So yes. I am exhausted and would love nothing more than a full night of sleep. But I won’t rest knowing my baby needs me.

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