On the Eve of my 30th Birthday

As I begin my 4th decade on this earth, I am looking both backward and forward. My life has had its fair share of ups and downs, but I would say more ups than downs. Do I feel like I’m about to be 30 years old? Not really. Do I look like I’m about to be 30 years old? Definitely not (I just got ID’d quite sternly this past weekend, and when she saw my birth date she laughed!). Am I happy where I am in life at 30 years old? Definitely yes.

My career is starting to (finally) take shape and go in a direction I hoped for since day 1 of college. I have a wonderful, amazing, kind-hearted, selfless man by my side.  Best of all, we made another life together. Not just the life we are living, but that of another human being.

I get a little sad when I think about my 30 years on earth and the mere 7 months my son has had. He has no idea that anything bad could ever happen. He doesn’t know about death, getting hurt (physically and emotionally), or hardships. His biggest problem is not getting the bottle/boob in his mouth quick enough. He finds joy in such simple things: swinging, bouncing, daddy giving raspberries, our dog, a rubber giraffe. I love to just watch him take it all in and see the expressions on his face. I wish more than anything I could guarantee nothing bad will ever happen to him, but unfortunately, that’s just about impossible.

When I look back, there are a couple small things I might change, but none of them would have an effect on my life at this moment. I’d probably still be with my husband and child, and I would still be working (just maybe in a different line of work). Had we known the difficulty of being away from our family and having a new baby, we may not have moved quite so far away. We love where we are though, so who knows.

My hope for the next 30 years is that they go as smoothly as these first 30. I’m afraid I may see more death, more world problems, and possibly more money woes. But I will also see my son grow to be a man and possibly start a family of his own. I will see my husband grow old with me and we will take on life’s challenges together. We will have some surprises (good and bad), but I know God won’t give us anything we can’t handle. I’m looking forward to my 30s. Bring it on!

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